Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
