I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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