my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
