If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
