No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
