is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
as a side note pls kill me
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
