Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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