i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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