Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Randomize
