yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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