Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
