My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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