i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
