they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I just found puke in my bra..
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
