the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
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