I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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