she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
