All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
