God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
