So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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