I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize