My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
