So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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