i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
