the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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