Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I have grass duct taped all over my body
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
