what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
