There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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