Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
