don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Just invented taco cereal.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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