my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize