I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
