We're facebook friends in real life
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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