On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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