He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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