why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
