i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
