This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
