Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize