The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
