Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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