there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
