How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
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