Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
