Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
