I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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