I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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