I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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