I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
