dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Pants are for mortals
Who died my cat blue again?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
