If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
