I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
