oh fat girl friday strikes again...
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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