On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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