Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
