1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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