I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
