I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
