how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
