You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
We have so much sex to catch up on
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
