i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
